I have been surrounded by spirituality since I was younger than 13 years old. My mother is a shaman, Tara Stonemother, and I would meet the people who came to her for guidance. I witnessed the practices, and the opportunity to participate was always available to me. I had reservations about the experience. I felt that I didn't understand or agree with some of the people who came to her. I was unsure of the legitimacy of this path and traditions. I was uncomfortable with the thought of being a spiritual person.
My Mother and I 2021
People would ask me if I was going to “follow in my mother's footsteps,” something I'm sure many children are asked when their parents are loved in their work. My answer was always something along the lines of “I don't think so.” I couldn't see myself becoming a shaman. I didn't understand that I didn't have to be exactly like her to be part of this world.
After Graduation
I graduated in the spring of 2024. My parents sold the home we had been living in for 8 years, and we set maps for Ecuador. We visited family along the way. Parked our motorhome in Walmart parking lots for the sleeping hours, one time even parked at Cracker Barrel. The goal was Ecuador. We would drive through Mexico, be shipped through the Panama Canal, and drive our 30 ft+ motorhome on the poorly kept streets of South America.
View of a local town from the hill, Ecuador 2024.
This plan changed when we hit Illinois. With all the stress that was already occurring in this 20,000 lb+ motorhome and trailer, we realized that maybe our plan wouldn't work out too well, and we should shift it to better suit us. We decided instead to fly to Malacatos, Loja, Ecuador.
We stayed with friends there, we met some locals, and mostly soaked up the kitty cuddles. My brother and I, being so young at 15 and 18, decided we couldn't build the life we wanted in this country. We flew back to Oregon, my mother set flight on her own travels, and I moved in with my grandmother to start applying for jobs.
Ever, Tara and Torin in Ecuador taxi 2024
Home Depot
In the winter of 2024, I was working at Home Depot. I had worked hard there for several months, attempting “the grind” and earning a promotion to a better position. I did truly believe that this was the life I wanted, that it was going to yield the results of a peaceful existence.
I was excited to be building something for myself, to feel “grown up” and successful. I imagined that I'd eventually have my own place, a house I could decorate and feel established in. I can't tell you why I thought this was the ultimate goal. I probably knew it wasn't, but the thought of it felt good. Maybe what we see in movies. Every coming-of-age movie plays the same line. A steady job, moving away from your parents, learning to be alone even if it hurts. I thought that was what I was supposed to do.
Milton Free-Water, Oregon, USA. countryside
I got a cold around the time of my promotion, the classic cough and runny nose. I continued to go to work (no more sick time), and my cold worsened. It quickly progressed to the point I needed to take sick leave. My mental health had already been suffering with my living situation and the typical stress that comes with working for a large company. Then, adding the sickness, it declined significantly. It seemed like my body knew something I didn't.
Looking back, I realized how the pressure I was putting on myself to be successful and “live an average life” was affecting me so negatively. I didn't notice how blind I was becoming to the world when I was so focused on impressing people I wouldn't be in contact with in a year's time.
Grandma feeding Finn the goat
I would get up to go to work in the morning, come home just to eat dinner, watch TV, and do it all over again the next day. I wasn't working on any hobbies, I had no outside goals, and my mood was determined by how smooth my day at work went.
I felt entirely hopeless with that mindset. I had begun climbing the ladder just to get off it. I'll admit, a ladder that I didn't even want to climb. I was disappointed that everything I was building was falling apart, and again disappointed that I built it at Home Depot.
With my health in the toilet, I tested positive for bronchitis and the flu and was sick for over 3 months. I was spending my days in bed and letting my mind go wild with all the stories of failure. I thought my life had no value and I would be better off just ending it before it got worse. Where I no longer had a plan, my mother did.
Mexico
My mother suggested we go to Mexico. We would find a place to stay, experience a different culture, and maybe get some life lessons along the way.
My mother and I arrived in Baja California Sur, Mexico, on March 10th, 2025.
We had secured a place to stay with a friend of a friend, Mary. This woman, as well as my mother, counseled me and taught me new perspectives, filled my mind with hope and new possibilities. Where I saw a dead end, Mary could see a new opportunity. She truly taught me the skill and blessing of going where life takes you and making beautiful things from nothing.
Mary in a botanical garden in Oregon, USA.
Mary had a way of adapting to every curveball. No change of plans could hurt her day. She could take a boring meal and make it something to light up your senses. She would share her life experiences with me and ask me just the right questions, as if she knew what it was like to be me. And I think she did.
Mary had a vision for the land she was on, a beautiful oasis for people to come and stay. Every day, there was planning and an action being carried out. She was actively building what she wanted. Witnessing that and being part of it awakened me. I realized when I was living there that I had been missing passion in my life. That to feel, you need more than a daily routine and predictability.
I lived with Mary at Casa Cubos for 2 months when I decided I'd like to stay in Mexico a bit longer. I flew back home for a month to sort through my things and pack up my car. I started the journey down the coast at the end of June, Mary in my passenger seat, along with one of our good friends. We traveled for roughly 2 weeks, camping and staying in motels. During this trip, we hit bumps. Sleeping situations weren't always ideal, one of us got sick, and we were constantly singing. Mary faced these bumps with strength and showed me how important it is to have these experiences. We always came out better and more flexible.
The salt flats of Guerrero Negro, Mexico.
I spent the next 5 months in Mexico, pet-sitting and meeting new people, building connections. I almost decided to stay in Mexico long-term. That was until I realized how strongly I love my family and how being far from them was not something I wanted to continue. I came home at the end of November in 2025. As I sit here and write this, it is the beginning of October. I have been back for nearly a year. And now, being successful means that I end my day with peace. That instead of feeling exhausted to the point of no motivation, I feel excited for the next day. It means being close to my loved ones and living with joy leading the way.
Ever in her temporary home. Baja California Sur, Mexico, taken by Noah(6 years old)
Canada
Upon my arrival back to Canada, I moved in with the family caring for my niece. I lived in a long room in the basement. 5 children, a newborn, and 2 adults lived above me. Once again, I had the opportunity of caring for children, for understanding what the privilege of their love means. This was my first chance to see a family dynamic, be on the outside of it but also see the inner workings. It helped me understand what being a parent may be like and witness how the parent affects the child.
A child's love is usually earned easily, simply by being present. But it is kept by continuing to be present, by how you react to their words and hold them in their sadness. I saw what my unwillingness to hold them could do, and now I hold them even when nothing is wrong. This experience made me see humans as children more than adults. We all grew up in different ways, some very similar yet still different. Some of us with very happy parents and secure roofs, some with only the faith of God holding them up.
Newton Children on left, Minnow(niece) on far right. Easter 2026
I've known religious people who don't go to church, who have tattoos and the occasional drink. I also know religious people who read their Bible daily and pray over every meal. I learned about God from every one of them. I didn't doubt any of their faiths.
Religion
Through the people I've met, I've seen how differently faith can exist in someone's life. I didn't grow up believing in God. I only went to church with my friends or grandparents on occasion. I didn't have a desire for church or to understand something I couldn't see.
Other religions had multiple gods, each having their own purpose, their own role and responsibility, whereas God was everything? He created the sun, moon, earth, and all its inhabitants? Of course, this is a possibility. An elaborate world with millions of plants and bugs and different ecosystems, then outside of that, complete other planets and worlds, all inside an expanding galaxy in a chain of galaxies in an infinite universe? This was created by THE God? It's possible.
It's also possible that there were many creators, that it was a team effort, that there was something else responsible for the creation of our existence. Perhaps it's all a funny coincidence.
God?
To me, God is the man you see when you go to church and read the Bible. With long brown hair, wearing a long white tunic, and golden light surrounding him. When I hear the word “God,” I feel a rejection of him being the creator of every single thing on this ever-growing planet.
Popo Niwe
I had begun working with Mark and Tara in the spring of 2026. They talk about the light of God. This was my first experience of potentially accepting the existence of an energy that was so large and important. It was unsettling for me to hear it talked about so casually. It made me want to keep our work more reserved. I realized it was my conditioning of the subject.
I helped in 4 ceremonies in the span of 1 month. My experience when helping in the ceremonies was humbling. I fell asleep while helping and was given a teaching that I am not to lie down when I am in the helper's bed. That was a hard lesson to swallow.
My dog Bodhi, lying on the floor of my mothers previous workspace.
I had to look at myself and my capability and decide if I was ready for the helper's seat. I decided I wasn't. Stepping away from the helper's seat made me scared that I wasn't fulfilling my role in the community. I now see that it was me honouring myself.
Although this experience was difficult and demanded more from me than I realized, it was beautiful. I saw that although I am an empath and know how to hold energy, I still have difficulty letting it go. I learned more about the medicine and her honesty. I also learned more about myself: that I do not need to be responsible for everything and that I can just be what I am in this moment.
Me in front of Mt. Shasta, 2024
As I continue to work with them in other, more suitable ways, I learn more about how they view spirituality. How they move in the world and help other people. And although I know I have much knowledge for my age, I know there is so much yet to come. I know that I will continue to receive teachings, just as I see my elders receiving such. And that I will be guided by my relations around me, my parents Tara and Brandon, Mark and his family, and everyone else I get the honour of experiencing.
Fasting
I still don't fully believe in God. But I've come to believe more in a Creator of humans. Some kind of energy that didn't create the entire world but had a contribution. On labour day weekend 2026, I sat on a mountain for 3 days and 2 nights under the Blue Mountain Sundance in Washington state. I spoke to Creator. Creator spoke back to me, probably more than I spoke to them, and I learned more.
I made the decision to participate in a vision fast in the spring of 2026, when my mother and I went to a camp near mount rainier. My sister was almost a year deep into her drug relapse. I spoke to Chief Alan Cliff. I told him about my sister and that I wanted to fast for her and for myself. To resolve my anger and bring my sister home. Soon before I finished tying my 606 prayers, my sister had a medical emergency that caused her to get clean and gave her the opportunity for a detox centre.
Me and my sister Delacey, 2026
This felt like a catalyst for change. I had been working on my ties for a couple of months. We had a pipe ceremony for her. The work for her return was being done. All we needed was Creator to help her get to “the breaking point” that would help her decision be made. She has been clean since. I had felt mindless in my spirituality before this, like I was playing a game, hoping for a magical ending.
Although many events contributed to this change, I realized my power and the connections I couldn't see through this experience.
When I was on the mountain on my own, I prayed for myself, for my sister, and for my friends who were struggling. I was alone, but I didn't feel alone. I knew my people were coming to check on me, that I was protected by my altar and my relations at camp. I cried a lot. I cried for my pain and struggle and for the pain I have watched my loved ones go through.
I told Creator about my disbelief of their existence. I poured my heart out. I cried to Creator. I left that mountain believing more, believing that there was a Creator and that I could have disbelief and knowing at once. I think now that creation came not just from the ground and from the directions but also that something created us humans. Created us divinely and with such depth that we must not be a coincidence. I came off that mountain with a deeper trust not only for the directions and Creator to guide me, but that I know the way within me and I can trust myself.
My mom and I after my vision fast, Blue Mountains, Washington 2026
I've learned that spirituality is your own. It is not the same for 2 humans. You may meditate every morning and pray to the sky, but I don't have to. There are no requirements for what makes YOU feel close to spirit. I worked hard on my acceptance for the little crawly creatures around me. I learned to keep myself calm so they could climb on me. My connection to the world I am in, the things that surround me, is more important to me than the practice of silence. Perhaps in years to come, that desire will change.
I remember being 13 and feeling resistant to spirituality.
So while I'm not a shaman, and not walking the path to become one, I am a spiritual person.
Me after a long walk at the 2026 salmon run
I have fasted for spirit and myself. I have helped in ceremonies, sat in ceremony, I have seen myself in my shadows, I have thought of ending my life, I have witnessed the beauty of living, and the honour of existence. 13-year-old Ever would be intrigued to hear my adventures, perhaps standoffish, but proud.
And I am so glad it will continue. That I receive the honour of walking this path, of hearing the beautiful song of life and the blessing of constant growth.
Aho,
Ever Ela-Kai Bradley
Golden Squirrel Woman
Me holding a black beetle, 2026.
